


Winning Chanukah

by Kass



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Chanukah, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 10:33:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16911321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kass/pseuds/Kass
Summary: Dan and Phil make a Chanukah video for Gamingmas.





	Winning Chanukah

**Author's Note:**

  * For [queensalmon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queensalmon/gifts).



> For queensalmon, who has the best sweater.
> 
> Deep thanks to kouredios for beta!

"Ho ho ho! What is up, festive gaming friends?" Phil says brightly. He's wearing a vivid blue jumper, emblazoned with white stripes on the sleeves, that says "Happy Hanukkah" in white letters around a turquoise menorah.

"We can't start this one with ho ho ho, Phil." Dan's sweatshirt is black, predictably, but the dark effect is marred by the golden letters proclaiming "Jews Do It For Eight Nights."

"What do you suggest?"

"Oyyy?" Dan offers.

"I think that might be offensive."

"What -- non-Jewish people say oy," Dan objects.

"And non-Jewish people make Chanukah videos. Obviously." Phil grins. "Dear Jewish people, we apologize in advance for screwing this up."

"But we heard from some of you that you feel left out during Gamingmas," Dan chimes in. "And we didn't want that. So we're giving the people what they want!"

"We already did that."

"We're doing it some more."

Phil gives a little laugh, eyes crinkling.

"Oh for fuck's sake -- not like that," Dan protests. But he's laughing now too. "This video is going very wrong, very quickly."

"I think it went wrong when we asked all of you," Phil gestures toward the camera, "to send wardrobe suggestions for our Chanukah video."

"They did provide me with something black to wear," Dan parries. "But speaking of wardrobe, Phil, show everyone your candles."

"As you can see, the candles on my jumper aren't lit," Phil says tartly. Then he cups his hand and rubs the side of his hand up his left pec, brushing upward, and the sequined flame becomes visible as a chorus of tinny children's voices shouts _yay!_ "And now the candle is lit!"

"And that's how Phil Lester turns himself on," Dan says.

"I'm changing the subject now," Phil says unnecessarily. "Today we're playing--" The screen shifts to an animated dreidel wearing a superhero cape.

"SUPER DREIDEL," they chorus together.

"Or... not," Dan admits as the screen reverts to the two of them again. "We thought this one looked great."

"He's got a little cape and everything!"

"But it turns out you can only buy it if you're in Israel."

"Which we're not." Phil sounds regretful. "Though we're really grateful to all of you from the Middle East who made it to Europe for Interactive Introverts. Anyway, instead, we're playing IGevalt!"

"It sounds like oy gevalt," Dan observes.

"I think that's the point."

"So how do we play, Phil?"

"It's easy. Put your device on a flat surface." The screen shows faux woodgrain, with a small wodden dreidel on it. "And swipe," says Phil in the little box at the top right.

The dreidel clatters and lands with the letter ה facing up.

" _Hei_ ," chorus a new group of invisible children.

Words flash on the screen reading "You get half of the pot."

"Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to get more than a single turn," says Phil.

"This is more of a fidget spinner than an actual app," Dan complains.

The screen shifts back to the two of them again.

"So we're going analog," Dan announces, and with a flourish produces a blue plastic dreidel. "And to make it more exciting, we're going to make this..."

The world goes black-and-white for a second and explosions appear, accompanied by weird mouth-sounds, as the words "Dan Vs. Phil" appear on-screen.

"I've got some gold coins," Phil announces, holding up a handful of four coins in gold foil wrappers.

Dan snorts a laugh, but doesn't say anything.

"What. They're chocolate," Phil protests.

"Of course they are. You've got to share them if we're going to play."

"They're half yours anyway," Phil mutters, giving Dan two of his coins. "Okay, I only have four coins, so this could be a very short game."

"How do you only have four coins?"

"I... might have eaten most of them already," Phil admits.

They each place a coin in the center of the table, and Dan takes the first spin. The dreidel lands on ג.

"Okay wait, I looked this up," Dan says. "This one's a... _gamel_?"

" _Gimmel_ ," Phil corrects him. " _Gimmel_ means you get what's in the pot."

"Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I'm winning Hanukkah," Dan sing-songs.

"You haven't won yet. It's my turn."

Phil's spin lands on ש. "What's this one, let me consult my cheat sheet -- oh no, it's _shin_ , I have to put my last coin in."

"Let's put Philly out of his misery," Dan offers, and spins. He gets ג again.

"Yaaaaaassss," Dan croons, gathering all the coins. "All your chocolate coins are belong to me."

"Nobody even says that anymore."

"You're just upset that I won. Get the leaderboard," Dan prompts.

As the champion music plays, Phil brings over the leaderboard. Dan provides a stick-on picture of a dreidel. "Hm, there's so little space, where will I even put it?"

"Dreidel's hardly even a game," Phil complains. "It's just a matter of chance."

"There," Dan proclaims, and slaps the dreidel into a few inches of space toward the bottom of the leaderboard on his side.

"We hope you've enjoyed this gaming video," Phil says.

"And our Chanukah apparel." Dan smirks. "Light another candle, Phil."

"Happy Chanukah everyone! Byeeeeeeeee!"

**Author's Note:**

> [Phil's jumper](https://www.target.com/p/women-s-happy-hanukkah-reversible-ugly-sweater-%20well-worn-juniors-blue-xl/-/A-53571826)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [Dan's sweatshirt](https://www.etsy.com/listing/634166712/happy-hanukkah-sweatshirt-jews-do-%20it-for)
> 
> And yes, Super Dreidel is a [real app](https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/super-dreidel/id336392073?mt=8), and so is [iGevalt](https://itunes.apple.com/US/app/id344643682?mt=8).


End file.
